Moo

I've always planned to breastfeed, always. There are so many benefits including that it's healthier and free! For Christmas, my aunt gave me a book about breastfeeding so I would be ready. I read the book with rapt attention, listened closely during the breastfeeding portion of our baby class and was as ready as I could be when the big day arrived.

The scene is now March 28. We've been at the hospital about 24 hours and the baby has just been given to me. I'm remembering everything from my book and class and we are going to rock at breastfeeding, right? Not so much. She couldn't figure out the concept of sucking. I read the book - NO bottles until after she's figured out how to breastfeed (for weeks). Fast forward a few hours...she still hasn't eaten, several nurses have tried to help, the lactation specialist doesn't come in until morning, shortly after she was born we were told not to be disappointed if the pediatrician wanted us to supplement her feedings with formula because she was high risk for jaundice, it's almost midnight, I'm EXHAUSTED, they've poked my baby's foot twice to make sure her blood sugar wasn't too low, and now the nurse is asking if we can feed her with a bottle because she HAS to eat.

What did my book say about this??? I don't remember, something about spoon feeding??? The nurse says sometimes a bottle the first night is okay, it helps the baby learn to suck and mom sleep (yes, I like that part about mom sleeping!) and then breastfeeding will be easier in the morning. Done - bring on the bottle.

Except my stubborn little girl would cry and cry while I tried to breastfeed until I finally gave in and gave her a bottle. The lactation specialist tried to help - she got her to latch on, but not to suck...and then we went home. I asked if I needed to pump so my milk would come in, but she said the stimulation from having the baby latch on should be enough.

Two days later picture me in tears all day long because I just had a baby, am highly emotional and my baby won't breastfeed. This is the way nature intended...WHY won't she do it??? I went back to my handy dandy book trying to find a solution. Searching, searching - I KNOW all the reasons why breastfeeding is great, that's why I'm trying so hard. Reading more about them is making me cry harder. There's nothing in there about what to do. It says, "don't introduce the bottle until breastfeeding is well established." Yes, I know, but it's TOO LATE for that...what do I do?

My grandma recommended trying my pump to make sure milk was coming out. So I went in the baby's room, sat in the rocking chair and tried pumping. I think I got maybe three drops. At which point my tears became sobs because no wonder my baby wouldn't breastfeed there was no food for her! I must be defective!!!

A few hours later, after a good nap, I decided that my milk just hadn't come in yet. Obviously since my child wouldn't suck there was no reason for milk to be there. So I decided to try pumping to get my milk to come in. For a couple weeks I would try feeding her first and then pumping. Then I would add whatever I pumped to her bottle. I bought bottle nipples that were more realistic so she would have to work harder to get the milk out. She sucked once for about five or ten minutes on one side and never did again. It was torture!

I finally told Wil I was giving up if she hadn't caught on by the end of the week. He recommended I give up trying to get her to breastfeed but that I keep pumping so we could give her the milk. Alright, I guess I can try that. I found a paragraph in my what to expect the first year book about how to increase your milk supply if you had started out on a bottle and decided to switch to breastfeeding. For the first time, I felt some hope. I searched online and found several websites about exclusively pumping. These women all fed their children by pumping and had enough to store in the freezer - I felt more hope (I was getting just a few ounces a day at that point).

I just finished pumping this morning, and this is my current supply. It used to take me all day to fill one of those little bottles!

It took a few months, but we haven't had to supplement with formula in weeks! I still don't have enough to freeze, but I do have enough that we shouldn't have to supplement with formula when I go back to work Monday, and that makes me extremely happy!